next time you go to the library try this

 

 

I SHALL PROCLAIM THAT THIS BE THE MONTH OF PROBING FOR EVERYONE WHO'S BEEN TRAPPED AND INTERROGATED ABOUT THEIR LIVES

Think im like the proclaimation above
I cant be normal in a situation like that
Questions by questions by questions
God why wont it stoP
My assumption of topics would be: Love, marriage or new success
I just had an irritating conversation with my mom
She sorta asked about the stalker i had a year back
Did he called me again?
Any news about him?
Whats he like?
DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (CLASSIC SHOCKED MUSIC MOMENT)

WHO WOULD LIKE A STALKER??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually i kinda know him but always seen him to be a sleazy drooling guy .... so you get the idea that i have an invisible restraining order initiated for myself
And she was like ... do you have his picture?
What does he look like?
Wah lau ... she made it sound like im dating the guy
Tried to end the conversation so many times
Pls stop ... im begging you  ... im go crazy if you dont stop being so intrusive
There's nothing so dont keep on digging an empty mine!!!!!!!!

AARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

I'LL GO MAD

 Just the other day my very good friend had a problem so he decided to talk to me about it
" Rai, hyphethatically right, if i asked you to marry me ... would you?????"

 "Ummm, yeah why not"

 " Eh whats wrong with you? Are you ok today?"

 Hmmm guess i was feeling a little bit high that morning and had a little too much optimism and happy going on in my head.

 " Yeah im ok ... You asked me a question so i answered in my honest opinion la"

 " Oh haha ... but why did you agree to that ... i want to know"

 " HMmm you're honest, kind, sufficient knowledge to lead a family, gentleman and you respect your elders"

 " Ok that was weird coming out from you, you sure you didnt eat something wrong?"

 " hello you asked me a question what, and its hyphethatically some more ... sheesh!"

 Turned out that there's this silly girl from the mosque who somehow seem to be interested in him
Well good for him but there's one thing thats bugging me
She's a giggling, always laughing at his lame jokes, forever smilling kind of sweet girl
Hey no offence
I felt like that when i was 14
Damn she's old school!
You remember right that kind of feeling you get when you had a crush in your teens
Yeah that kind ....
You just like that guy thats it ... and that need to impress him seems to be gobbling up your common sense
All you could do was smile, laugh and just act sweetly waiting for him to comment and gaze into your eyes saying "you have a lovely smile, i think i like you"

YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!

So told him that its good to have fans like that ....
Make her like your personal entertainment although as evil as it sounds
He seemed abit distaughted by her meticulous attention to him
"oh she's sooooo die-hard,  congrats"

Ok ... so in turn i asked him the same question
Would he marry me ...
"Yes i would be glad to marry you"

And why?
Gave me alot of crap before describing me honestly to my question
HONESTY
Hmm well felt abit cheated cos i gave him more than 1 description for his quality
Humph!!!!!!

 

please god im miserable enough

Dont punish me like this

Take me if you must

I can take poverty

I can endure hardships

But when it comes to her ... i will always be defeated

 

The month of ramadhan is about to end

This is the first time ever that i felt pity that its going away

I feel better lighter and definately grew stronger emotionally

The good vibes i get from people is definately a good sign

For mankind has not lost in its need for money and fame

 

I took it into my stride for alot of incidents

Cos i didnt want to feel that ive lost in tolerating my battles

Not that dont feel glad offering my free services to my family

But its more of being a punching bag whenever they want me to be

My sisters often reply me in that (damn you're voice is annoying stop talking will ya?) kind of tone

I dont know maybe my voice doesnt sound nurturing enough

I feel so low; to have to be nice to them when im being dissed regularly

And when i start shouting ... just nice my mom would come in and say

ITS MY FAULT (indirectly)

 

My instincts is sensing that they kinda look down on me

I know it for sure because i get it everytime during my secondary school days

Just too bad i became this way

Not too smart

Not pretty

FAT

Obnoxious

Loud

Straightforward

I dont really want my fighting & violent days to resurface in order to avoid hurting anymore people

Ive been in so much trouble before and feel bad for using the iron fist

So tolerance is my biggest truimph to get over it

"Just tahan dont retaliate"

"You'll get over it"

Indeed my troubles went away but in the process i became a doormat unknowingly

Being pushed around like the silence

 

I was this close to ending a perfect month without breaking down

And the matriach had to ruin it all

How i wish she would be more nuturing

Handle small issues rightfully dont make a mountain out of a molehill

And never insult your kids

She made me feel so damn low due to her misjudgement

and i was pretty sure that i bought the right stuff for her baking

Scolded me upside down for buying the wrong type of sugar

And went on for another 30 minutes

Feeling unsatisfied with my claim that its the right kind she called the shop

The shopkeeper testified that he did lead me to the shelf and even help me take the sugar that was on the list

Shocked; she pointed out as to why the texture looks so different

Yeah there was no mistake

Im so upset that not only that she doubts me

I keep getting insults downgrading my every minute of existence

 

I really feel very very very upset

Not because of misjudgement

Because of the lost of trust between me and the matriach

She never believed my claims

And she will forever see me as an imbecile

 

"Tis the night shall the pillows seep the tears of this unknown

Let her eyes cystal let it flow down her cheeks

She sniffs and snuffed the sadness away

Let her cries be the one to put her to sleep"

 

 

lots of nasty occurances happening around my neighbourhood lately

back at my old block, someone commited suicide

where she jumped from her bedroom window and landed right beside the lift landing

My mom freaked when she saw the wrapped up body on her way to the market stall

Suicide can mean many things

The victim could be nuts due to many life problems and just wanted to end it all

well the victim just didnt know that suicide could be so painful before and after death

in some cases victims dont die automatically after the fall unless they fall head first

yeah they have to endure the pain till it takes their life

after death .. haha only god knows how to deal with them

 

secondly i realised there's a lot of juveniles starting to hang around my area

they habour at my void deck till the wee hours in the morning

first the girls initiate the din by imititating the banshee

whoa ive never heard girls laugh that loud and to tell you the truth sounds very gross

a mix of evil and (paid too much attention the joke) or whatever

like: uuuaarrghh uuuarrrgghhhh uaarrggghhh

Ho man the the guys ...hmmm they will start drinking and pick fights among themselves

like: Hoi kau apasal ar?! (whats wrong with you)

       Nak cari pasal ape?! (you looking for trouble is it)

       Eh aku punya pasal ar aku nak buat ape! (its my problem ok)

       Kau sebok apasal?! (why are you so nosey)

Notice the excessive usage of the word "pasal"?

its used in conversations to describe the current problem

Hmmm their vocab seems kinda a little bit limited

But although it seems fun to see them go and make a fool of themselves often

they're still delinquients .... causing neighbourhood unrest

 

Just yesterday they had a fight with some other kid

and weapons are used this time

They broke their beer bottles and initiate the fight ... if you know what i mean

Soon after making a lot of noise and stuff

The ambulance came and the girls became more rowdy thus began to blame each other

Damn ..... these kids really need to find another cause in their lives

 

 

 

 

Hmmm ....

What do you think?

This is my first try using photoshop

I call him JOLLY PRATA

HAHAHA

DARN THE COLOUR SEEMS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT I WAS WORKING ON MY LAPPIE

NEVERMIND ... I THINK ITS PRETTY CUTE

DONT YOU THINK???

 

 

 

 

 

Was listening to the radio the other day and came about Carrie Chong's trailer of 987 ULTIMATE

Talking about your life theme songs

Or maybe your current situation and what kind of songs fitted the description

So while watching videos on youtube

scrolling

scrolling

scrolling ....

Finally there's one song that best describes my miserable demeanor

Peeps who know me well ... knows whats the source of my meloncholy

Long have been my hope to bury the hatchet

No matter how bad im being treated

Cos the insults wont stop

Im tired of restraining myself pretending to be nice

Cos im rough, loud and obnoxious

So i laid down and suddenly became the doormat

Resist and they'll diss me like i dont exist

I wonder how much i mean to them

For they make me feel really bad about myself 

Does my face has an obvious sign saying

"YOU CAN TOTALLY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME"

????????????????????????????

 

 

 

Oh life its bigger

Its bigger than you and you are not me

The lengths i would go to

The distance in your eyes

Oh no ive said too much

I havent said enough

Thats me in the corner

Thats me in the spotlight losing my religion

Trying to keep up with you

And i dont know if i can do it

Oh no ive said too much

I havent said enough

I thought i heard you laughing

I thought i heard you sing

I think i thought i saw you try

That was just a dream

To try cry why try

That was just a dream

Just a dream just a dream ....